How quick are you to walk away or ignore a challenge when it arises? There are so many different ways to approach and respond to an obstacle, are you aware of your conditioned response?
It is such a powerful journey to become aware of how YOU show up in the mix of a challenge - what you do when you have an emotional responds to something or when you are the receiver in a sticky situation. I'm going to ask you to get real with yourself and reflect upon the last time you were in the mix of a low in your relationship, maybe you're in the middle of a funk right now. How do you handle the tough stuff?
TODAY'S QUESTION: Are you properly equipped for a challenge? Are you okay to get messy with your significant other or do you find yourself running from conflict, keeping secrets and disregarding the emotional tough stuff that surfaces because it's easier to avoid then to work through and resolve?
Our love relationships always start with some sort of energetic/ emotional connection to another. There's always a reason "why" you're drawn to someone - physically, mentally or spiritually. Whatever your "why", passion is huge component of our love relationships. Sure the way we define passion changes and molds in different shapes over time, which is one of the great parts of growing with someone.
When it comes to the messy stuff, we all have our limits, as to what we will accept or not in a relationship, as no-one wants to be disrespected, taken advantage of or not seen and heard. Do you know what your limits or boundaries are? I hope the answer is yes. If you're uncertain, I ask you to start the thought process, wrapped around what's really important to you, in a love relationship.
There’s no doubt that many of you reading this have been in a relationship where you were not truly heard. Personally, that is one important quality of any love relationship that I am in - to be given the time to truly be seen and heard. How many of you are in a relationship with someone who needs to always be right? Yep, that's my most recent experience - I danced in a long distance relationship with a man who didn't hear me, who always had a responds, regardless of what I said, because he needed to be right, which left me unable to fully share my deepest emotional struggles, as I was often spoken over, interrupted and left to feel frustrated, disappointed and sad. It's a powerful process to be able to share the messy parts, for it's an energetic, emotional release of internal negativity - if not shared, there is no doubt, that shit will manifest within your body and show up as an ailment.
Sad but true - I would share my feelings in an email, as that was the only way to express my feelings and to truly be heard - very rarely, did I ever get an email back with thought, time or more then a few sentences. Great conflict resolution right? lol. The messy was avoided and pushed under the rug. Not healthy for the longetivity of anything concrete.
So what do you do? You trust the process of getting messy. You acknowledge that perfect is an undesirable quality for any relationship, as it prevents you from keeping an opened mind, as you have already premeditated and built a fictitious story around how things should look vs allowing things to unfold as they will. You welcome space for your partner, to bring anything to the table and commit to listening without a quick response. You share and are conscious of the emotional responds your partner might have. Speak slow. Control your emotions. Breath. Listen. Trust time. Be patient. Be smart with your word choice AND be open to listen, kindness and compassion, as shit happens. Get messy with love.
BIG QUESTION: Next time an obstacle comes up in your relationship, will you take a couple deep breaths before responding. Could we change our mindset and embrace the messy parts of our relationships and potentially grow vs quickly disregarding and holding fast to the "grass is greener on the other side" mentality?